Bad Porn

So really, what's up with UFC fighting? I was sitting watching it with The Girlfriend, her brother and his friend, happily watching The Food Network, completely engrossed in the inner workings of Walnetto when I got up to poop (to poop! to poop! I pooped!). I came back and there were two men on TV, sharing a sweaty embrace, trembling and grunting. The three of them on the couch were staring, rapt, and I was all, um, baby? We're not supposed to have these channels.

I didn't really say that. But I thought it very loudly, hoping my confusion would telepathically transfer to The Girlfriend and she would come to her senses and put The Food Network back on. But no. I timidly sit down and inquire as to what we're watching. "Um, UFC." I lift my eyebrows and try to pay attention, thinking that hey, maybe I can get in to this. I didn't think I would like the demolition derby last Summer and I got in to that. So I watch. I ask The Girlfriend's brother how the point system works (because I heard an announcer announce that one of the sweaty men had to be worrying about his points) and The Girlfriend pipes up with "Babe, it works kind of like boxing." To which I replied, "... ... ...?"

I watched for a few more minutes, said out loud that I think this looks like really bad porn, and got up after I got three dirty looks. I don't get it.

There was a brief period in my life that my mother's ex-husband influenced my taste and led me to what was then WWF "wrestling." The phase lasted two dreadfully embarrassing months in my eleventh year, and I now hate it with a passion. However, at least there was some entertainment value there. And boobs. Boobs make almost everything better. With this UFC shit? What is there? The men aren't particularly attractive, the outfits are horrible, the arena is ugly and there are blood splatters everywhere. Like I said: REALLY BAD PORN. It might help if the fighters had some personality beyond the after-fight commentary where they say things like "I put in my time with my nine years of pee-wee wrestling*" or "I was worried there, for a minute, but then I used my push-kick** and it all fell in to place."

* pee wee wrestling? Does that exist? Really? I mean, really??
** a PUSH KICK?! It sounds like a video game created by a new English speaker. I can see it in writing with it's badly placed quotation marks and interesting font choices. Why can't it be called something more interesting?

So now here I am, at my computer, and I wish I had a Kindle, or a good book to curl up with, or homework. Anything.

In other news, I bought a car today. A very used car, with very little money, but it's all mine.