Signs of Life

First, let me say that I love that I can draw on my phone. Because arrows and the such are fun.

This was formerly a pot of dirt and today? A bud! These will be orange, butterrfly-attracting flowers.

Because Parents Don't Have Enough To Worry About

entry to come later, when I'm at my computer, because my thumbs might fall off.

Totally Unqalified Opinions.

I'm working (and not procrastinating at all with my blog) and have the TV on in the background (because I have a tendency to freak out when I'm alone) and Oprah's on. Darius Rucker, of Hootie and the Blowfish is on singing one of his country hits and, um, he looks high as a fucking kite.

But hey, props to him for singing live. Even thought he's flat (and I'm actually not unqualified there, I grew up singing in a pretty awesome choir). And apparently, I love parentheses tonight.

()()()()()

Slacker

I know I'm a slacker. With the pictures. In my defense, it's been a wicked busy week. I'm trying to finalize my schedule, I've been working out like crazy and The Girlfriend left today for a deep-sea fishing trip (and I'm a huge baby because it's been three hours since she left and I'm already trying really hard not to be a mess. It's not working so well.), and I was trying to stay away from my computer, also known as my crack, to spend time with her.

I'm also getting ready to start bleeding and I've been a moody motherfucker because of it. I try not to spread my toxins to others.

Anyway. This picture was taken on a hike the other day. And I love it because it's very representative of my town. Being from the midwest, you don't really see the weather coming. It just happens that all of a sudden, it's raining or snowing or you're sweating. Here, you can see it raining in other parts of town. This happens all the time and it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

The Grudge Girl... On Crack

This is a picture that Natalie picture messaged me on my cell phone. It's a picture she took of her computer screen while we were talking on Skype. Too much technology can be creepy.

Sleeping Beauty

Cell picture of the day.

She fell asleep watching Snow White.

Echoes

cell pic of the day.

Emily and her friend are 6 months apart. Emmy is big for her age and her friend is small for hers'. They were yelling in to the pool room and shrieking when it echoed.

On Randomness.

Yesterday, there was no cell phone picture of the day. I had an unusually long day at work and then had to come home and write for three hours. So, there wasn't really time.

Now, Tuesday is usually reserved in this house for BAWT. Beer After Work Tuesday. Yesterday though, it couldn't happen because of the aforementioned working late. I got home and my legs hurt, and I was tired, and I was hot, and my face has been super oily lately? Which I don't understand. And on the stove was an order of potato skins from the bar The Girlfriend and I go to. IT WAS AWESOME.

Not awesome in the sense that I'm working on losing weight, and I've been succeeding, and so the potato skins probably didn't do much for that effort, but awesome in the sense that The Girlfriend went to the bar just to order them and bring them home for me to try and make my day that much better. It totally worked. She also picked Emily up for me, which was nice. I never get to just go straight home after work. I have to go to the other side of town to pick her up and then go home. Do you know how long it took me to get home? EIGHT GLORIOUS MINUTES. It's usually around a half hour because of traffic. Eight minutes, people. It was beautiful.

So I get home and kiss my girlfriend and hug on my baby girl and then I have a beer (which tasted way too good) and we eat the potato skins while Emily has mac n' cheese and I give the kid a bath and then she goes to sleep and I sit down at my computer: the last place in the world I wanted to be. I wanted to be on my couch, watching TV with The Girlfriend. But, I need to make money and I had a deadline today. So I'm writing and writing and writing and I realize that I just can't wrap my head around things because The Girlfriend is watching this show about a man who decided in his thirties, after he was married and had two kids, that he's really a woman. So he flew to Thailand to get full surgery and came back and was surprised when his heterosexual wife wouldn't have sex with him/her. He changed his name from Ted to Chloe and was surprised when his kids' friends' parents would no longer let their children come over.

It was sad. I can't imagine being born in the wrong body, and I can't imagine it taking that long to figure out. And I'm trying really hard not to be in the audience yelling selfish!selfish! But honestly, a small part of me thinks she was selfish. I mean, the surgery was $70,000. Plus more money. A new wardrobe, makeup, shoes, having to explain it to your kids, having your wife be stuck in a place she doesn't want to be in. I do think that that's selfish. But then I see the other side too, the side where when Chloe was still Ted, he tried to kill himself. Because that's horrible too. So is his wife selfish for wanting him back? For mourning the loss of the man she fell in love with? I don't know. I think that's a hard situation.

I just realized it's 5:36am. Have to go!

"It's a Love Fern!"

Well, a braided love ficus, to be more exact.

Afternoon Doldrums

I've been cleaning all morning and she is ready to DO SOMETHING. Right here she is snacking on walnuts and wishing the neighbor girl was outside on the porch next to ours.

Girls Can Like Superman Too!

Cell Phone Picture of the day.

Emily has recently learned about "boy things" and "girl things." I'm not particularly happy about this but I suppose it's just to be expected.

The Girlfriend bought this shirt the other day. Emily has this thing for Superman (which of course isn't based on any actual working knowledge of Superman, but is based on the fact that The Girlfriend loves Superman and Emily loves The Girlfriend and loves making her smile). She saw this shirt and lit up. The Girlfriend thought that I wouldn't let her wear it to school and honestly, I probably wouldn't have had she not mentioned it.

And then I got pissed at myself. Why can't she wear it? It's an awesome shirt that makes her happy. And I HATE that someone at school told Emily that girls can't like superheroes or cars (becausw between the three of us, The Girlfriend. Emily and myself, superheroes and cars are pretty important) and I hate that, at three years old, someone, some little snot of a child is telling my daughter what she can and cannot do.

Emily loves superheroes. She loves princesses. Her favorite color is purple and she loves purses and dress up. She loves firetrucks and baby dolls and rain boots and Hannah Montana. Her tastes are varied and wonderful and I want them to stay that way.

So. She wanted to wear this to school and that was fine with me. The Girlfriend and I had a talk with her about what to say if anyone teases her, and we both told her several times how awesome she looked. She hugges The Girlfriend and aaid "thank you SO MUCH for my shirt."

When we got to her school she ran ahead of me to the kitchen and, striking a muscle pose, she said to one of her teachers "look at mt shirt! Supermannnnn!!!" and then she ran, waving her arms to her classroom where she did the same thing to the teacher in there.

I hope that she doesn't loose this.

After Work Hike

cell phone picture of the day.

On Life Happening.

Life happens here. Over and over and over. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Because it's a real thing... an honest thing.

In an effort to keep this blog more lively, I'm instituting a cell phone picture of the day. Starting tomorrow.

Summed Up: Financial problems specific to my life are magnifying, growing at such an alarming rate that I've almost had a panic attack. Should be rememdied soon, but the time period between then and now is terrifying.

-School - re-signed up for, starting Aug. 24th.

-Work is going well, in that I love my job. But it's a job that's not necessarily designed to respond well to an economic slump. And my company's really a great one. So there's a little concern over the welfare of everyone there, myself included. But I think that's pretty country-wide.

-Work2 is going well too. I don't think I updated here that I have a freelance writing job (and ohmygod I'm totally freaking out geekily excited about it because WHOA I'M GETTING PAID TO WRITE and it's a small job but it's a PAID job.)

-Relationship is amazing. The Girlfriend and I seem to have waded in to a point in our relationship where life can happen to the both of us and instead of pushing each other away, we're drawing closer because of it. And it's truly a beautiful, wonderful thing.

-Sidenote, THE GIRLFRIEND IS GOING BACK TO SCHOOL TOO. Which is awesome.

-Emily is amazing as well. I'm trying to teach her to read. And it's going well. She can identify about half of the alphabet by sight and can write her name, and signed a card by herself the other day. I told her the letters to write, she wrote them, and I told her what she had written. Pretty fucking cool.

Beyond that, I'm going through a weight thing. In that I'm trying to lose some. And I'm too emotional about it to talk about it right here, right now. But rest assured, I will. Sooner than later.

My mom is doing well. Almost done with chemo.



Do you see why I'm not writing? This is all my head can produce. Fragments of thoughts.

So, cell phone picture of the day, tomorrow.

Education

So I think I've taken too many sociology classes. Emily wanted to watch Snow White after we got home from the park. I was doing laundry so I decided to let her. I didn't think she'd actually watch it because she's not so in to actually sitting down and watching things. But she did. After I was done putting the clothes away, I made her the oh so healthy dinner of a hot dog with barbque sauce (oh my god! hot dogs! tv! worst mom ever!) and I sat down to watch with her. That Queen used to scare the ever living shit out of me.

Anyway. We're watching, and Snow White eats the apple (which I used as a good example of Why We Don't Take Food From Strangers), and she falls in to the sleeping death or whatever. I'm watching with Emily and explaining what's happening, reading the dialogue on the screen between Snow White "dying" and the Prince coming to find her. So the Prince comes along and kisses her and I was so bothered! What kind of guy comes across a dead girl in a glass coffin and decides, I know, I'll kiss her! Her lips were probably so disgustingly chapped and she's surrounded by these strange little men and he just walks up and kisses her. I missed the beginning of the movie, and maybe that was important. I know that the Prince knew Snow White, so, whatever.

But then she just gets up and rides away and the castle is all lit up in the sky and everything's perfect.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not a feminist. I'm all for equal rights and equal pay, and the lack of reproductive rights in this country drives me insane. But I have no problem being treated like I'm a girl. For any feminists out there, don't let that statement freak you out. But I like haviong doors opened for me, I like not taking out the trash, I don't mind looking pretty. I like those things and I have no problem with Princess movies in general. They're cute, harmless movies. Which is why it's so strange that I am so bothered. I know that Emily's not going to learn that that's what life is about. I know that. But it still really bothered me that all of a sudden, with one kiss, Snow White is great and Emily says "aw mommy, she's so happy!"

I don't know.

She's Back

Yes. I am. And it was awesome. I promise this won't be like the last lake trip that involved me procrastinating so much that it never got written about. I will sit down, I'm planning on tomorrow, to write.

So much.

But now, it's off to work.

So

Tomorrow The Girlfriend and I are leaving for a small vacation. Nothing fancy. But good times, good people, and lots of sunshine. Hopefully this trip will not include second degree burns. I bought some stronger sun block.

Anyway. I hope this weekend is a good one for all of you.