ohmygod the talking.

Emmy: Hey mom our car is white and i love our car because it is white and that truck? That truck over there? It's yellow and I don't like it but if you had a yellow car I'd like it because it would be like the sun but that yellow is like pee-pee hahahahahaha I said pee-pee. Mom I have to go pee but I know I have to wait because we DON'T PEE IN THE CAR and I know better because only babies pee in the car and Momma, I want a sister but I want her to stay cute and like a baby and when she cries you can have her but when she's happy I'll hold her and change her diaper and we BE GENTLE WITH BABIES and Mom, that yellow car really does look like pee. Pee. Pee. PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Pee. Pee. I really have to go peeeee-eeeeee-eeee. But I can wait, Mom, Mom, I'm singing. Can you hear me? It's a song about pee. I'm singing like Hannah Montana because I'm like her look at my sunglasses! They're pink! Hannah would like them and so would her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus because he looooooooves Hannah when she's Hannah or Miley and he would looooooooove me and Momma, why wouldn't you buy me that Hannah cereal? Because it looked really cool and i really reeeeeeeaaaaallly wanted it and you wouldn't buy it and it made me sad like when I fell and got a bloody nose because I was running in the parking lot and WE DON'T RUN IN PARKING LOTS Mom, because we'll fall and get a bloody nose and get hitted by a car and then I'll died and you'll flush me down the toilet and I don't think i'd really like that.

I didn't like when we flushed Charlie (her old fish) down the toilet and now I have Goose and he's such a good fish because he swims and I don't want to flush Goose down the toilet because he's not died and Mom! I'm having a sleepover tomorrow! At the Awesome Neighbors! Because you love me and need grownup time with The Girlfriend and you guys are gonna KISS and HUG and KISS some more because you love her and you love me too Mommy, and why are so many cars yellow? And why can't we go to the park? I know it's windy but I really want to go and maybe tomorrow we can go and tomorrow I'll have breakfast and I want pink yogurt and I want to wear my princess dress when I eat it and Mommy, how old are you? Why is your hair the way it is? I have dark hair and so do you! I love dark hair! It's cool. I don't like light hair. Except on Auntie. Because Auntie is soooo pretty and I miss her and she moveded away and I miss her but those cats of hers kept trying to steal my crayons! And Mommy I want Auntie to come sleep over because I love her and we can do hair pretties and she lets me eat all the fruit snacks, but I have to LEARN TO SAY NO to the candy all because it makes my tummy hurt and I threw up at Walmart and The Girlfriend had to buy me a new shirt and I was smelly and no one wanted to be near me because I was smelly because I ate too much candy so I have to say no. Right Mommy?

Me: Um, yes. Too much candy makes you sick and-

Emmy: I know. It hurts my tummy and doesn't give me muscles. My vitamins give me muscles and they taste so yummy and I want a vitamin right now because they're good for me and I love them. Mommy, why is my carseat pink? I love pink. But purple's my favorite. And I like green because you do and Mommy? When will we be home? When we get home I want to go play in my room and listen to music and read my books and I want to dance around all crazy because I'm a kid and I can because I'm a kid and that's what kids can do but not grownups because grownups have to make money and you can't make money dancing, can you?

Me: Um...

Emmy: If i could make money dancing then I TOTALLY WOULD because it's soo much fun and it makes my body feel crazy and I love the music and Mommy? Can we listen to No One because I want to SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGG.




And I promptly turned on Alicia Keys and cranked the volume. The talking OHMYGOD with the WORDS and the moving of the mouth and the talking, she talks, the talker with all the talking, yes, she belongs to me and OHMYGOD SHE'S STILL TALKING.