Aug 26, 2009

The Other Night

We went out to dinner. I had arranged for Emily to have a sleepover at one of her friend's houses (which is a total different post about nerves, about things like OHMYGOD, what if Emily can't sleep and I'm not there? and things like FUCKFUCKFUCK I FORGOT TO PACK HER PRINCESS DOLL) and I took The Girlfriend out to have a good night of fun before school started. Oh yeah, school started Monday. Awesome.

My grandma called me earlier, which is good because her birthday was Sunday and I called and called and kept getting a busy signal.

We all love snippets, right?

Today was my second day out of work. I wake up every day and feel like shit. Every day, without fail, I feel like absolute ass. My mouth is like the fucking cave of wonders. Seriously, you should see the stuff I scrape off of my tongue with my tongue scraper. It's gross. Anyway, every morning I feel like but. No voice, stuffed nose, etc. Usually a shower, an allergy pill and a few cups of hot coffee turn it all around within an hour or so. But on Tuesday, by eight thirty in the morning (three and a half hours after waking up), I still felt like butt. And was dizzy on top of it. And my voice was not getting better with hot drinks, but was disappearing all together. By nine am, I thought I was dying. Seriously. (I'm not at all dramatic. At all.)

So I went home. I spent the entirety of the day moaning in the bed, getting up to have my entire stomach fall out of my ass and then stagger back to bed, groping at the walls because I was so dizzy that I quite literally couldn't see straight. I would get in bed, argue with the pillows because I couldn't have my head too horizontal but my neck hurt if it was too vertical and it was awful. There was a bottle of honey next to me which i drank straight, the way that the ladies at churches throw back the communion wine shots on Sundays. You know what I mean, the way they try to look dignified in their hats and pretty outfits but really, who can look dignified when taking a shot?

The Girlfriend was kind enough to pick Emily up and the Awesome Neighbors took Emily and fed her so that I could lie around in my misery alone. Emily came back home around 6:45, just in time for bed and The Girlfriend got home from school around 8:15 or so. I don't really remember.

This morning I woke up and expected to have had some magic recovery. And when I put my feet on the floor, my head rolled off of my body because the weight of the snot couldn't be contained. It rolled off and the snot left a trail and I died. Right there. Dead. And then I had to wake Emily up to dress her and get her butt to school. So I informed my boss that I was still feeling ill (and I'm pretty sure the word butt was in that information) and got Emily to school and came home amazed that I hadn't been arrested and given a breathalyzer for driving drunk.

So I sucked it up and went to the doctor today. I'm not one to freak out about things. At all. I'm one who tends to think that the media overplays things WAY TO FUCKING MUCH. However, I'm an asthmatic, a college student and I have a three-year-old. So I decided it would be good to make sure that I do indeed have a cold and not H1N1 or anything more serious. I go to the doctor and she does all her stuff, blood pressure, weight, asks if I've quit smoking, stethoscope, etc. Then she puts her fingers on my face and taps on my cheeks, right under my eyes and I YELLED. Seriously yelled at this poor woman, who timidly says "um, I guess that hurt?" and then proceeded to tap on my forehead above my eyebrows, and tears fell from my eyes.

Diagnosis? Wicked sinus infection, double ear infection and it looks like strep might be on it's way. Awesome! I love having a shitty immune system! It's fucking awesome! So I was give some antibiotics and a nose spray and was told that if I don't start feeling better soon, or if at anytime I feel like a semi just ran over my body, I need to call her back.

Tomorrow I'll be back at work, dizzy, running to the bathroom and hoarse, but I'll be there. It's been weird to sit at home. I love work and haven't known what to do with myself.

I did, however, learn how to make apple maple chicken sausage, courtesy of Rachel Ray.

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